Oh my goodness, parenting!! I, for one, have no idea what my parents did for me when I was just a babe. So, when the stick turned blue, I was like, OMG this is AMAZING… Uhhh… Ya, how does this all work? Are my motherly instincts going to just kick in like I have heard, how do I prepare? Prepare???
I know that most of what we need to raise a child as parents comes from within, however I felt a little unsettled having never parented before. Diaper changing 101 and how to prepare a bottle or *breastfeeding may seem easy peasy, but helping to shape a child’s life can be scary. (*OMG breastfeeding can be extremely tough in the beginning, from experience!!). I have found two philosophies of parenting that I totally mesh with:
From a medical (or general) perspective, attachment parenting focuses on the physical bonding with the child, whereas RIE focuses on the independent child. It is important that children be exposed to both, what I like to call a well rounded child. Having used both methods of parenting, I personally feel both styles focus on physical bonding and independence. Children are more capable expressing autonomy when they have a comfortable place to do so.
So, like apples from a tee, I just did some picking and choosing. I wore my baby, nursed my baby to sleep, co-slept until baby found her arms and legs (I have a mover and a shaker), I ask to pick her up, I explain everything that I am doing to/with her (*see note below), she has a safe place in our house and backyard to climb and play unassisted, you will NEVER here me say “it’s ok” or “use your words” or “good job,” I still nurse my baby to sleep, and I am not one to offer much assistance with problem solving.
(*note: i.e.. changing her diaper – “I am taking your diaper off now, I see that you peed a little, I am going to wipe you with a warm wet cloth now, you are going to feel my finger rubbing diaper cream on your bum, feels a little cold huh, ok now I am going to lift your legs and place the diaper under you and pull it between your legs, now I am fastening the diaper, we are almost done, I just need to put your pants on now, see we are all done”- for every single diaper change since birth and now she just loves the dialogue!)
These two methods, coupled with mommy instincts, have made such a difference in my family’s life! 🙂 ____________________________________________________________________________
Below are some additional resources for each parenting philosophy:
Resources – Attachment Parenting
- The Attachment Parenting Book: A Commonsense Guide to Understanding and Nurturing Your Baby (Sears Parenting Library)
- Attachment Parenting: Instinctive Care for Your Baby and Young Child
- The Attachment Connection: Parenting a Secure and Confident Child Using the Science of Attachment Theory
- Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids (MY FAVORITE, this book taught me to chill out!)
- The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer (#1 BESTSELLER)
- Sleeping with Your Baby: A Parent’s Guide to Cosleeping (CO-SLEEPING/BED-SHARING)
- Attachment Parenting International Recommended Reads
Resources – Resources for Infant Educarers (RIE)
- Dear Parent: Caring for Infants With Respect (2nd Edition)
- Your Self-Confident Baby: How to Encourage Your Child’s Natural Abilities — From the Very Start
- How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
- It’s OK Not to Share and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids (MY ABSOLUTE FAVE)
- 1,2,3…The Toddler Years: A Practical Guide for Parents and Caregivers
- Respecting Babies: A New Look at Magda Gerber’s RIE Approach
- Hands Free Mama: A Guide to Putting Down the Phone, Burning the To-Do List, and Letting Go of Perfection to Grasp What Really Matters! (MAMAS, PUT DOWN WHAT YOU’RE DOING, IT’S NOT THAT IMPORTANT!!!)
- Janet Lansbury- Elevating Childcare